Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Xander is a smart kid. He'll be 4 years old this summer but is already into the stuff I liked when I was 5, maybe 6. He can watch old episodes of Voltron non-stop via NetFlix - Instant Queue, w/o commercials! I can tell he has a thing for Princess Allura, like I did... do.

During learning time this morning on he was learning that 'sh' combined makes the "shhh" sound. Of course he still pronounced it more as a "sss" not knowing how to position his teeth and tongue to get the right sound to come out. So naturally I explained it to him and demonstrated how to keep the tongue back and close the teeth to allow the whistle-like sound. He nailed it after a couple tries and can now pronounce phrases like "she shops for shoes".

I was proud and saddened simultaneously. Here's my little buddy growing up and graduating from his little speech impediment that his mom and I still find entertaining and cute. It won't bother me if he forgets this lesson for a few more months...

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

"The vastness of the Universe...

... is inside of a seedling."  A lyric to one of my poems/songs.  A rare moment of deep understanding, of pure presence, as fleeting as a moment, though true and clear as the light of day to me, in that instance.

As life moves on, ever-horizontal and linear through the common illusion we acknowledge as time, I can reflect on that lyric, when "time" permits, to visit and experience the realm of wonder, the 'quest'  of an 'ion' such as myself, to ask and thus, to exist.

Questions have answers.  Inquiring minds live and pulsate with thought and wonderment, chaotically, but alive.  To solve a puzzle is to end the journey, to terminate the chaos of the mystery.  Is Omniscience a form of death?  How can there be life if there is no mystique, if all is known?  Are we then as the parent who must live vicariously through their child to catch a glimpse of what was once magical, once mystical?  Is that what we are, here in this life, as a reincarnation of what had once been so new, so fresh, so simple and pure yet so entertaining?  As is witnessing the first laugh, the first steps, the first anything of a babe-child?

Can there really be an ultimate question?  With a very finite number of karmic paths, along with a finite number of genetic combinations, as well as a finite number of worldly experiences, is there truly such a thing as infinity?  Is this why choice-chaos can never be nullified?  Can this be the reason for an opposition in ALL things?

Monday, April 5, 2010

Back on crack, I mean, track!

Well, after playing the role of Gitmo for the past few months, with regard to my thought hostages, it's time to start releasing them again into the void of cyberspace (does anyone even call it 'cyberspace' anymore?). How intriguing is it to think of the grand majority of the Universe as open space, or as it is also known, "dark" matter? Why did I put 'dark' in quotations? Because who's to say that it's really 'dark' at all? Sure from our limited visual perception it seems dark and devoid of light except from the stars and any other gaseous reaction occurring and getting reflected from other objects, but imagine how full of life potential there is in the vastness of space?

I think about our own bodies and how dark it all must be throughout our internal systems, devoid of light, though full of life and death, function and non-function, action and reaction, in-flow and out-flow, chaos and order, and then everything in between. The denser a situation, in any case throughout the universe, the more gravity it has, meaning the more pull it commands. The question I ponder is, who or what causes the density of a situation? Is it a natural, random occurrence, aka. organic. Or is it something created and/or observed in such immensity that it is therefore contaminated to a certain extent and deemed artificial. Could it be a combination?

Is anyone in "control" or are even the most advanced beings subject to randomness? In our dimension of dual polarities, does life = chaos and death = order? I pose it in that way because throughout life any number of physical, emotional, and spiritual events are possible through and as a result of our choices. Once dead there really is only one option for the body, and we can only speculate about the soul, though most religions agree that there is pretty much a set standard for what comes next, whatever that religion's standard post-life protocol may be. The two guarantees of life: death and choice... though the taxman would have us believe otherwise.

Hmmm... so maybe Chaos = Choice? I can certainly see that application's validity just from my few short years of parenting experience. Let the children run free for a little while and observe the utter chaos that ensues from their choices. The weeping, the wailing, the gnashing of teeth, not to mention the mess, especially if dealing with little boys. Hell on earth. Anarchy, kinda. Life at its fullest!!!

And so might Order = Evolution? Voluntarily relenting certain instincts and impulses so as to better fit in. Fit into what? A machine? A processor? A god-making system? Is ultimate surrender the ultimate quest and test to attain enlightenment and exaltation? Death and surrender of the chaotic, choice-endowed, child, for ascension to a higher plain of existential understanding of universal order? Is this what religion was trying to teach me all those years of my childhood, though muddied in the micro-management of my personal path to get to this point? Life leads to death, and Death leads to Life... for infinity.